Khà Hibou Story

My Medical Battle

My name is Khà Hibou. My childhood was marked by deep suffering, shaped by wounds of rejection and an illness that followed me from my earliest years. At only five years old, I experienced my first acute pancreatitis, a severe and extremely painful inflammation of the pancreas.

Between the ages of 5 and 17, I went through nearly thirty pancreatitis attacks, each leaving its mark on my body and spirit. Every crisis would last anywhere from 3 to 30 days, during which I could not eat at all. At times, the vomiting would continue for more than a week, leaving me exhausted and fragile.

Some years, the timing of my crises was especially cruel. I was hospitalized during six consecutive Christmases, which was extremely difficult not only for me, but also for my family, who had to spend the holidays by my side in the hospital instead of at home.

Because I was constantly sick and missing school, making friends was extremely difficult. I grew up experiencing hunger, pain, isolation, rejection, helplessness, and the constant control of others over my life. I was forced into endless diets and restrictions, and endured suffering on every level — physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

During adolescence, I was already taking up to fifteen pills a day to try to relieve my digestive system: pancreatic enzymes, Urso, Losec, Prevacid, and several others whose names I can no longer remember. Despite all this, the pain persisted.

By the age of 15, my situation became even heavier. Outside of the hospital, I was prescribed and taking up to 10 Dilaudid pills a day, in addition to two Hydromorphone Contin tablets every 12 hours, just to keep me constantly drugged enough to tolerate the pain. My daily reality was surviving under the weight of morphine and opioids, rather than truly living.

I had already undergone one surgery to remove my gallbladder and was preparing for a second operation when the doctors imposed a radical treatment: a three-month complete fast. During that time, I was only allowed to drink water and ice. My body was nourished through a PICC line, a catheter inserted into a vein reaching directly to the heart. I was fed artificially, while my digestive system screamed with hunger.

During my third year of high school, the illness became so overwhelming that I missed around 450 classes. This eventually forced me to drop out of school. Shortly afterward, I sank into a period of disability that lasted nearly two years. The pain had become constant, to the point where I struggled to function in everyday life.

By the age of 17, I was no longer being followed by the hospital. I began taking care of myself, searching for my own ways to survive and move forward. But despite my willpower, I was still chained to morphine and opioids just to numb the constant pain.

What is Acute Chronic Pancreatitis?

The pancreas is an organ located behind the stomach, with two essential roles:

• Digestion: it produces enzymes that break down fats, proteins, and sugars.

• Blood sugar balance: it secretes insulin and glucagon to regulate blood glucose levels.

An acute pancreatitis is a sudden and very painful inflammation of the pancreas. Instead of being activated in the intestine, the digestive enzymes are activated directly inside the pancreas and begin to attack the organ itself. This causes:

• severe abdominal pain (often radiating like a belt into the back),

• nausea and vomiting,

• complete inability to eat,

• sometimes serious complications (cysts, infections, damage to nearby organs).

Each crisis could last anywhere from 3 to 30 days, during which I was completely unable to eat.

To manage the unbearable pain, doctors usually prescribed codeine and morphine around the clock (24/7). In my case, I was on a continuous infusion of hydromorphone (Dilaudid) 24/7, and I also had the right to administer myself additional doses of morphine every 3–4 minutes, which was a mixture of Dilaudid and ketamine.

For most people, pancreatitis happens only once to three times in their entire life, usually after the age of 40, and is most often linked to alcohol consumption or excessive sugar intake.

When these attacks repeat regularly over several years, it is called chronic pancreatitis. In the long run, this damages the pancreas, which gradually loses its ability to digest food and regulate blood sugar. People with chronic pancreatitis may sometimes need to:

• take medications or enzyme replacements,

• undergo multiple surgeries,

• follow very strict diets,

• or live through long therapeutic fasts to give the pancreas a rest.

Falling into the Shadows

When I became an adult, after my two years of disability, I fell into the world of raves and drugs. For me, there was no real difference between swallowing hospital-prescribed pills and taking street drugs. On the contrary, street drugs often felt weaker and much more enjoyable than the heavy treatments the hospital had given me, such as morphine, Dilaudid, or Hydromorphone Contin.

I even saw a very therapeutic side to dancing and partying. It was as if the drugs amplified a beautiful energy, and that energy stayed with me afterward. But when I consumed too much or stayed too long in the party lifestyle, the effect became the opposite. Looking back, I believe the greatest harm caused by drugs is that they push us to neglect our essential needs: drinking water, eating, breathing well, sleeping, and moving our bodies. Instead, we drank alcohol or energy drinks, smoked without rest or deep breathing, and sometimes went days without sleeping or eating.

I had been a guinea pig all my life for the hospital, which kept running tests randomly because they didn’t know what else to do. They would add a pill, try another exam, schedule an operation—but all without a real goal. My body endured their experiments, yet no cure was ever found. So why not conduct my own tests and experiments instead?

In the beginning, raves, dancing, and parties had a very positive effect on my life. They gave me a sense of freedom and joy, helping me escape, for a time, the pain and isolation that had marked my entire childhood. It was like a breath of fresh air in a world that had been nothing but suffering.

I also carry beautiful memories of the people I met during those times. One of my first friends in that scene was a drug dealer, and together we caused all kinds of trouble. There were nights when I would take 5, 10, or even 20 pills in a single evening. Through him, I discovered GHB, strip clubs, and the nightlife of dancers. Very often, I found myself surrounded by dancers, and for a time, I even danced naked myself. In that world, sex and drugs flowed freely, creating a reality that was both exhilarating and destructive.

We even had access to a clandestine lab where drugs were produced before being distributed. I remember my friend going to pick up supplies—sometimes he would come back with more than 500 ecstasy pills, sometimes even more, or with half-liters of GHB. We even had the opportunity to choose what would go into the drugs, as if consumption itself had become a game of creation and limitless excess.

But over time, I found myself more and more alone, as those moments became too toxic for me. That’s when I started attending more mature raves, such as Stereo in Montréal. There, I met responsible adults, and together we set up clear rules about drugs: only once a week, only on weekends, and never for more than one day.

With this new circle, we shared far more than just the party. We organized dinners together, artistic activities, and private raves without the sexual side. I lived beautiful experiences with these people whom I still love today. They took care of me, and for the first time, I felt safe, supported, and even guided.

Life continued like this for a while… until I faced a new tragedy: the loss of my three animals—a degu (a small rodent, similar to a mouse) and my two dogs—each dying a month apart. In the span of three months, I was left completely alone. This pain pushed me deep into drugs, especially speed and cannabis. I could easily go several days without sleep, and I remember how unbearable the inner pain became.

It was at that moment that I deeply reconnected with the Earth. I was searching for a way to regain trust in a society that seemed to me dull, sick, noisy, and destructive of nature. Mother Earth then advised me to let everything go, to end my story in Québec, and guided me toward a new beginning at Emerald Lake Lodge in British Columbia.

The Call of Healing – Returning to My True Identity

When I arrived at Emerald Lake, I made a radical decision: I immediately stopped all hard drugs and continued only with cannabis. It was a true turning point in my life.

There, I met a precious friend who helped me enormously in finding my true identity. With him, I began sharing the knowledge and experiences I had gained throughout my healing journey. He tested me, challenged my abilities, and most importantly, he recognized my talents and the person I had truly become.

For the first time, I felt genuinely seen, respected, and valued for what I had gone through and for the tools I had integrated. Unlike modern medicine, which had never shown the slightest interest in the ways I had managed to heal myself, this friendship confirmed that my path had meaning, and that I could now begin sharing it with others.

I remember once explaining to my doctor how I had healed myself. His response was: “In medicine, we don’t think like that.” Instead of encouraging me, those words pushed me to close myself off rather than open up. I realized that my path would never be acknowledged by conventional medicine, and that I had to keep moving forward by following my own guidance.

Soon after, people around me began asking me for advice about my practices, my experiences, and the medicinal plants I was using. Gradually, a natural recognition grew. Some began to call me Witch Doctor, others Medicine Man, and even Shaman. These names resonated within me as a confirmation that I was finally walking the path of my true identity.

But while I was rising, my friend slowly fell into hard drugs: cocaine, ecstasy, MDMA, alcohol… His descent shook me deeply, and it was during this time that my connection with the Earth grew stronger. I was searching for ways to help him, while still continuing my own healing.

I too stumbled at that moment. I fell into cocaine use for a short period. But it didn’t last long — I quickly pulled myself back up, returning to the path of healing with even greater strength and clarity.

I then reconnected deeply with myself, with Mother Earth, and with nature in all its forms. I kept healing my wounds and traumas with the help of sacred mushrooms. During one particularly intense experience, I received a spiritual gift: I took a strong dose with someone I had met there, and together we lived one of the most spectacular experiences of my life — both extremely difficult and breathtakingly beautiful.

The mushrooms — or rather the spirit that revealed itself to me — was named KHA. It was from this spirit that I chose to take my new name, which I carry today. In just a fraction of a second, KHA gave me the ultimate teaching, the final piece of my healing puzzle. It closed the circle: all my experiences, all my suffering, all my lessons suddenly made sense. KHA showed me how to bring all these tools together into one medicine.

He taught me how to use mushrooms and my other practices within the context of sacred ceremonies. This is how I truly began to heal others, through ceremonies I called “Face Your Fear.”

These ceremonies were designed to help people confront and transform their greatest fears and their deepest traumas, under my guidance. The results were often life-changing: people managed to free themselves from traumas they hadn’t even been aware of, to heal from phobias, and even to break free from powerful addictions.

The results were astounding. After the ceremony, the person would be completely transformed. Emptied of thoughts, they experienced profound inner peace, an extraordinary calm, and an absolute control over their desires and actions. It was wonderful, magical, and extraordinary.

Ka’s Temple and the Trial of the Law

Together with two of my friends, I founded a non-profit organization called Ka’s Temple. Our mission was to help people struggling with physical and mental conditions gain access to natural medicine, while offering them support and guidance.

Far from seeking profit, we used the resources we collected to support Indigenous communities in the Ucluelet region, giving back what we could to contribute to their well-being.

Over time, Ka’s Temple earned a beautiful reputation. People came to benefit from our services, and we were able to help many overcome depression, heal from trauma, and let go of harmful pharmaceutical pills by replacing them with natural medicines, used in a temporary and effective way. For many, our approach represented a breath of hope and a tangible alternative to a cold and distant medical system.

But as time went on, our work began to disturb certain local interests. After being intimidated and attacked by a local drug dealer, things shifted dramatically. It was then that an RCMP officer began to target me directly with intimidation, an illegal arrest, and insults.

I eventually found myself in court. I was placed in an Indigenous-focused program that used plants for cultural purposes. As part of this process, I was asked to write a letter explaining where I came from, what my intentions were, and how my experience with the law had unfolded.

I wrote that letter sincerely, humbly, and from the heart. In it, I shared my healing journey, my relationship with mushroom medicine, and my true intention to help and uplift my community.

To my great surprise, the judge read my letter in full, and immediately after reading it, he dropped all charges against me. It was a moment of unforgettable intensity. I realized that truth, spoken from the heart, carries a power far greater than fear and control.

This experience taught me that even in the face of the law, honesty, vulnerability, and heartfelt truth can prevail.

My Letter to the Court

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing this letter with the intention of expressing my truth — honestly, humbly, and from the heart — regarding my experience with the judicial system, my personal journey, and my relationship with what some call "magic mushrooms."

Throughout my life, I have walked a path of survival and healing. Over 28 years, I have survived more than 50 recorded pancreatitis episodes. Mushroom medicine played a central role in this healing, they saved my life — not just for myself, but also for others, suffering from depression, addiction, and trauma.

My intention in working with mushrooms was never recreational or criminal. It has always been a sincere, spiritual, and therapeutic practice, rooted in compassion and a desire to uplift my community.

My company, officially registered and government-approved, has been dedicated to supporting people through difficult times. We worked with the mayor of Ucluelet and directed all donations to projects that supported Indigenous communities on reserves. We partnered with non-profit organizations and were widely supported by the people around us — until intimidation and fear entered the picture.

I witnessed things that shook my trust in the system: individuals in positions of power acting in ways that contradicted the spirit of justice and protection.

Despite these experiences, I never lost sight of my core intention: to heal, to protect life, and to build something meaningful. I acknowledge that the use of mushrooms remains illegal under current law. However, I also believe that these laws were not built on science or compassion, but rather on fear and control. Today, scientific research overwhelmingly supports the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, and many countries are beginning to recognize that.

This does not mean I see myself above the law. I now understand that good intentions are not enough when they conflict with rules meant to protect the collective. I take full responsibility for my actions and commit to aligning my values with legal and ethical standards moving forward.

Still, I believe it is my duty, as a citizen, to speak the truth — especially when the system appears broken. I have witnessed corruption and injustice. It hurts. But I do not speak out to cause harm. I speak out because I hope our institutions can evolve with greater integrity and wisdom.

The truth is, I would not be alive today without mushroom medicine. That alone proves to me that these laws are depriving people of life-saving tools. The research is there. The science is there. Why are we pretending not to see it?

My hope is that you see not just the legal facts, but the human being behind them. I am someone who has made mistakes — yes — but I am someone who is trying, with all my heart, to live in alignment with what is good, just, and true.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I remain open to respectful dialogue and committed to walking this path with responsibility and clarity.

Sincerely, Kha Hibou.

The Medicine of the Earth

After going through illness, addiction, confrontation with the law, and reconnecting with my true identity, I found my path: the path of the Medicine of the Earth.

There were many teachings I received from Mother Earth, and each of them allowed me to heal—or at least to reconnect with beings and energies that nourished me where I had been lacking sustenance, support, or life force.

The first of these teachings is simple, yet fundamental: everything comes from nature. Whether it is our food, our water, our air, or even our bodies, nature produces absolutely everything we need in order to live our human experience.

And through genuine respect and a sincere belief, we already hold within us everything necessary to communicate and harmonize with nature. For we are not separate from her: we are nature.

I also came to understand that the foundation of our existence rests on our beliefs. What we think, what we believe in, becomes our reality. And these beliefs are naturally reinforced by the beings around us, especially when we share the same visions, values, and faith in life itself.

In other words, whether through our senses, our nourishment, or our healing, nature not only provides us with these essential elements, but also the capacity to amplify, diminish, or restore them. And this applies to our four bodies: the spiritual, the mental, the physical, and the emotional.

It is our inability to connect with what surrounds us—and with ourselves—that creates our misunderstanding and suffering. Through limiting or destructive beliefs, we end up manifesting both our problems and our solutions.

The physical body, in particular, requires an environment that can fully support it. It needs nature to nourish itself, to understand itself, to sustain itself, to heal, and to recycle energies that are no longer needed. An tree is a perfect example of this principle: it recycles our air, provides us with fruits, and even offers us natural medicines.

Finally, I came to see that the foundation of any authentic relationship—whether with nature, with animals, with spirits, or with humans—lies in mutual respect and the sincere belief that all is equal. Nothing is superior or inferior to what we are. It is only through this respect that the beings around us will accept to reveal their true identity. For we cannot expect anything from someone we do not respect: they will hide, and they will give us as little of themselves as possible.

Conclusion – A Path of Healing and Truth

My journey has been marked by suffering, by shadow, and by confrontation. But through it all, I discovered the teachings of the Earth, the strength of the spirit, and the truth of the heart.

I walked through illness and pain, I fell into addiction and darkness, I stood before the law, and I was reborn through the guidance of the Earth. From all of this, I have received not just healing, but a mission: to walk this path with honesty, to share the tools I have been given, and to help others find their way back to themselves.

The Medicine of the Earth is not only my path—it is our path. A reminder that we are never alone, that everything we need is already around us and within us, and that through respect, love, and truth, we can all return to our true identity.